The wonders of modern wireless technology

I was sitting in a reading room of a library with my friend David the other day. We both had our laptops with us. David was in the midst of debugging a big C++/Python project he has been working on, and I was writing the script for my next short film. (It´ll be a masterpiece, I tell you... my magnum opus... but back to the story.)

Libraries are a nice place to sit and work. It is quiet, and there are few distractions. You aren't even allowed to bring your cellphone. But there is one big disadvantage: you can't chit-chat with your friends.

But then IEEE 802.11 came to the rescue! Both our laptops are of the apple persuasion, and have been equipped with WI-FI cards (or Airport cards in Apple parlance.)

Now our library is not smart and savvy enough to provide wireless Internet access (they do have power outlets for power-hungry laptops, though), but that was just as well. If we'd wanted the entire Internet to distract us, we could just as well have stayed at home. WI-FI cards actually have the ability to establish host-to-host, or so-called ad-hoc networks and Apple's iChat has the ability to do instant messaging over the local network using their highly touted and hyped rendezvous technology.

So while I was stuck in my script waiting for my muse to whisper the next word to type, and David was waiting while compiling 4 million lines of code for the 10th time that hour, we could chat and post small witticisms to each other. The only problem was that we had to remember not to laugh out loud.

I felt a bit juvenile, sending secret messages like that.

Then it struck me. This is what every teenager must have been dreaming of! Ever since the first teacher entered the primordial classroom, teenagers around the world have been trying to find a way to send secret comments to each other and to rate all the girls (or boys) in school on a scale from 1-10 during a tedious English class with Mrs. Soenderfjord.

If only I had WI-FI and iChat when I was in high school, I quickly beamed over to David. (Yes... and least one other classmate as well... there must be another tin can on the other end of the wire.) But why stop there?

Want to hear music? Get a bluetooth-equipped hearing aid. Most teachers notice headphones, but they most certainly can't make you remove the hearing-aid. Outside class, such a hearing aid could also be used instead of a hands-free head headset for your cellphone. (Hello Oticon, are you listening?)

I can even see the patent application now. "PATENT NO. 32344234 A DEVICE TO AID HEARING COMBINED WITH A TRANSMITTER FOR AUDIO DATA OVER STANDARDS BASED WIRELESS NETWORKING, IP-BASED ACCESS AND ONE-CLICK ORDERING."

And this is not only for teenagers. (How many teenagers use hearing-aids, anyway?) Soon, other medical devices will get connected as well. You will get IP-enabled eyeglasses, pacemakers with bluetooth connectivity, and interactive penile implants.

Thus my final days in a home for the elderly may not be quite as boring as I might otherwise fear. Just as long as I have a laptop with wireless interfaces and software to sniff for other devices:

  % telnet 192.0.4.2 [yes, we will still be using IP4 and telnet in 2050]
  Welcome to MS-PenIX 2050
  Copyright 2051 Macrosoft Corp.
  Login: root
  Passwd: [Ihaveabigdong]
  Login succeeded. Please enter a command.
  > ERECT
  Erection is commencing... DONE
  > PASSWD
  Please enter new password for user root: [noyoudont]
  Repeat the password: [noyoudont]
  > QUIT

  Thank you for using MS-PenIX. Good-bye.

Posted by keli at April 29, 2003 12:00 PM |